so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
