She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There's always time for handjobs
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.