You just made me feel so damn special
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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