Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
