Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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