Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
