Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
