if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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