You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
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Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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