so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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