You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
