Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
