Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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