If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
