Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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