I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
