But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
