Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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