Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize