Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
