He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
