on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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