We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
