This house was built for laser tag.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
