"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
