you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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