Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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