Will you blow on my dice?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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