So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
