i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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