I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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