Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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