my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
