Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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