me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
