She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
