What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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