I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
