I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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