i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
