She is in my trunk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
