Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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