I just threw up on my dentist
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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