Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
