You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
