If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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