I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
