shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
