We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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