sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
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I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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