If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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