Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
