Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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