Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
