I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
