He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
