I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
